Beth Moore Poem
I got this poem on an email from my mentor today. It is written by Beth Moore and it makes me ask a lot of questions.
____________
____________
The Life I Planned
Has someone seen the life I planned?
It seems it's been misplaced
I've looked in every corner
It's lost without a trace.
I've found one I don't recognize
Things missing that were dear
Promises I'd hoped to keep
And dreams I'd dreamed aren't here
Has someone seen the life I planned
Did it get thrown away?
God took my hand from searching
Then I heard Him say
"Child, your ears have never heard
Your eyes have never seen
Eternal plans I have for you
Are more than you could dream.
"you long to walk by sight
But I'm teaching eyes to see.
I know what I am doing.
'Til then, you must believe."
He's done so much, I felt ashamed
To know He heard my moans
To think I'd trade in all He's done
For plans made on my own.
I wept over His faithfulness
And how He'd proved Himself
How He'd gone beyond my dreams
And said to Him myself,
"No, my ears have never heard
My eyes have never seen
Eternal plans you have for me
Are more than I could dream.
"Yes, I long to walk by sight
but You're teaching eyes to see
You know what You are doing
'Til then, I must believe."
I felt His great compassion
Mercy unrestrained
He let me mourn my losses
And showed to me my gains.
I offered Him my future
And relased to Him my past
I traded in my dreams
For a plan He said would last
I get no glimpse ahead
No certainties at all
Except the presence of the One
Who will never let me fall.
Are you also searching
For a life you planned yourself?
Have you looked in every corner?
Have you checked on every shelf?
Child, your ears have never heard
Your eyes have never seen
Eternal plans He has for you
Are more than you could dream.
Perhaps you long to walk by faith
But He's teaching eyes to see
He knows what He is doing
Child, step out and believe.
_______________
Am I searching for the life I want that God doesn't have in his plan for me? Do I get to be "done" with PPD inside of a year or will I struggle with it for years to come?
Do I need to let go of my dream to have more than 2 kids because it's not God's plan for me or do I continue to look forward to that dream of mine?
Step out and believe...believe what? That I will get better? That I will be "whole" again someday this side of heaven? That He has a perfect plan...sure, I believe that...it's the timeline that I am frustrated for not knowing.
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This poem was encouraging in numerous ways especially that it reminded me to be focusing on Christ and looking for His plan rather than for what I want to have happen.
However, it frustrated me too, is it too cliche? It seems too simple, too trite, too warm fuzzy-Christian-feel good-fluff. I mean no offense, especially to Ms. Moore. However, I find myself in a place where I need to ask some hard questions and wade through the fluff and find the hard core God answers.
This poem reminded me of what I already know and I guess I am looking for more. Something I don't know...something that shows me how to get from here to the next spot...forward.
_______________
Am I searching for the life I want that God doesn't have in his plan for me? Do I get to be "done" with PPD inside of a year or will I struggle with it for years to come?
Do I need to let go of my dream to have more than 2 kids because it's not God's plan for me or do I continue to look forward to that dream of mine?
Step out and believe...believe what? That I will get better? That I will be "whole" again someday this side of heaven? That He has a perfect plan...sure, I believe that...it's the timeline that I am frustrated for not knowing.
--------
This poem was encouraging in numerous ways especially that it reminded me to be focusing on Christ and looking for His plan rather than for what I want to have happen.
However, it frustrated me too, is it too cliche? It seems too simple, too trite, too warm fuzzy-Christian-feel good-fluff. I mean no offense, especially to Ms. Moore. However, I find myself in a place where I need to ask some hard questions and wade through the fluff and find the hard core God answers.
This poem reminded me of what I already know and I guess I am looking for more. Something I don't know...something that shows me how to get from here to the next spot...forward.
posted by Becky | 1:41 PM
2 Comments:
What a powerful poem! The waiting is hard, but you WILL feel better.
I agree, the poem smacks of the simplicity that frustrates so many "thinking people", who have a hard time reconciling faith and intellect.
Depression is a lesson in patience, for everyone involved. Waiting it out, while frustrating and sometimes defeating, is the surest thing. You can't convince yourself out of it. Your suffering is real and valid, and no one understands it the way you do, unless they've dealt with it themselves. But it will end.
Meanwhile, recognize that there will be good days and bad days, and that both of them are fine. Don't let guilt compound your problem (easier said than done); guilt that you can't do the things you want to do, guilt that you might not be meeting your family's expectations, guilt that you're not participating in your life or the lives of your children and family as fully as you want to... Love them the best you can. They'll do the same. Do your best to accept their love.
It's not forever, but you can't force it to go away. What you can do, is to spend time with the things people who make you feel better while you wait.
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